Episode 17: A Charlie Brown Bloody Christmas

Episode 17: A Charlie Brown Bloody Christmas

To help alleviate our guilt at our long delay, this Adventure is a special bonus double-sized issue! It’s totally planned that way and not at all because Jet Wolf couldn’t shut up about things. (By the way, Mike was not in fact in a tunnel while we were recording, he just doesn’t know how to set up a microphone. I find it amusing that I did not notice a problem, despite proudly proclaiming in our first segment that I had graduated to wearing headphones to monitor sound levels. It’s basically just failtastic across the board.)

  • Continuing our theme of hating on holidays, Nikki is completely unprepared for Christmas. Mike couldn’t care less. The conversation takes a dark turn as an axe murder appears to be loose in our house, and then somehow it becomes all about Star Trek for a while.
    [00:00:40 – 00:23:27]
  • The rest of the podcast is movie time, and first on the chopping block is Skyfall. As a lifelong Bond fan, Nikki has THOUGHTS and FEELINGS and you need to hear all about them. (PS: She is not pleased.) [SPOILERS all up in this.]
    [00:23:35 – 01:09:08]
  • In contrast is Wreck-It Ralph and guess what? WE LIKED IT. Come hear the rare segment where we are enthusiastic. The world really is going to end on Friday, isn’t it? [SPOILERS, though mostly on the mild side.]
    [01:09:15 – 01:43:45]
  • This week’s Final Round is kind of lackluster on both sides, but Nikki sneaks in a couple of bonus questions and Mike manages to get pissy!
    [01:43:51 – 01:56:31]
Play

Runtime: 01:56:46
Direct download: advjwu17.mp3

Episode 16: The Genosha of Candy

Episode 16: The Genosha of Candy

Halloween is here! Nobody really cares.

  • Candy and bad horror movies are really what we’re all about at this time of year. Just how glorious are cheesy 80s horror movie titles? Pretty damned glorious. Also did you know that candy has a hive mind and plots against you? You’re welcome.
    [00:00:36 – 00:12:26]
  • This week’s big bombshell was Disney’s acquisition of LucasArts. We talk about concerns (and the potential lack thereof), the future of the Star Wars franchise, and Nikki says something so heretical that you can actually hear Mike trying to burn her alive with his mind.
    [00:12:32 – 00:29:59]
  • Also hitting the rumour mill is Mass Effect 4, and all the many things we don’t know about it which have in no way stopped people from gnashing their teeth and crying to the heavens. It won’t have Shepard though, and we’re kind of fine with that.
    [00:30:06 – 00:38:32]
  • Mike goes for the jugular in this week’s Final Round. Nikki may never recover.
    [00:38:38 – 00:50:52]
Play

Runtime: 0:51:09
Direct download: advjwu16.mp3

Episode 15: Crazy With Their Wildness

Episode 15: Crazy With Their Wildness

Leaves are turning, and apparently so are our moods. This week finds Jet Wolf and Ultrace rooted in the past, and they wallow in the murky pools of nostalgia.

  • Borderlands 2, let’s go ahead and get that necessary chat out of the way. How are we liking it? Pretty darned well, though we have a few quibbles because of course we do.
    [00:00:34 – 00:10:45]
  • We’re soon to embark on a quest to rewatch all of Sailor Moon, and Jet Wolf is kind of totally looking forward to it. We reflect on our deep involvement with the fandom in the mid to late 90s and how, despite this, we remember practically nothing today. This brings us to a few other old favourites, and was Fushigi Yuugi really as dark as our memory says? Quite probably so. Also, Evangelion is shit. Maggie Smith, however, remains awesome.
    [00:10:53 – 00:25:53]
  • City of Heroes is dead (or will be soon), and although we haven’t played for years, we’re sad about it. The sadness is surprising. We trade memories (Super Jump whooo!), discuss our favourite and not-so favourite characters, the awesome community, and lament all the stuff we never got to do. It’s the feel-good segment of the week!
    [00:26:00 – 00:43:08]
  • Another lengthy Final Round, despite Mike totally cheating with his question. YES YOU DID.
    [00:43:14 – 00:58:42]
Play

Runtime: 0:58:58
Direct download: advjwu15.mp3

Episode 14: It’s Not Me, It’s My Evil Hand

Episode 14: It's Not Me, It's My Evil Hand

Only too aware that absolutely nothing is going to get done the moment Borderlands 2 goes into our Xbox, Jet Wolf and Ultrace put your needs first and record our next podcast. Given the end result, it may not have been our wisest idea.

  • How are we passing the time before Borderlands 2 Day? A hell of a lot of Rock Band Blitz, to start. Several people have asked if they should get the game, and we spend some time justifying our inevitable “YES WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??” PS: Harmonix is having having an insane sale (over a thousand songs at 50% off WUT) and here’s the link I promised about that. We chat up Project Eternity, the new Kickstarter from the attractive people at Obsidian. Borderlands 2 is going to interrupt Mike’s FTL, but he kind of loves it anyway. Then we go off on a total tangent and Nikki squees openly and unashamedly about the new Ben Folds Five Fraggle video. Did you know Mike has no idea what Gangnam Style is? We fix that. Mike is speechless.
    [00:00:36 – 00:22:09]
  • Screw it, we’re talking about Borderlands 2 anyway. Who are we going to play first? Nikki is actually kind of ignorant about the BL2 classes, and Mike seizes this opportunity to know more than anybody else in the room. We discuss ways to improve Brick that will never come to pass and dreams are crushed. Then we argue about candy.
    [00:22:17 – 00:34:23]
  • As has been the case since we first met, when uncertain of what else to talk about we turn to comics. Avengers vs. X-Men is almost over, but it leaves a trail of blood, hate and tears behind. Nikki stopped reading months ago but Mike has plodded onward like a brave soldier long abandoned by his unit. He must share his pain. Nikki is speechless. [WARNING: Contains big honking AvX spoilers, but honestly, spare yourself the time and money.]
    [00:34:31 – 00:52:13]
  • It’s The Final Round, and while neither question is overly difficult, both elicit discussion! It’s like the segment is working as intended! Amazing!
    [00:52:20 – 01:00:57]
Play

Runtime: 1:01:13
Direct download: advjwu14.mp3

Episode 13: The PAXtastic PAXcast! (2012 Edition)

Episode 13: The PAXtastic PAXcast! (2012 Edition)

In this episode, Jet Wolf and Ultrace go deep into the jungles of PAX Prime, braving a land of endless lines and bottomless smells. Never let it be said that we don’t love you.

  • Our first segment, recorded about five hours into the first day of PAX, and already we’re bitching about lines. We were so young. We skimmed the Expo Hall and bring all the “oh hey, look at that” action right to you! Mike talks about his crushing defeat in the Dominion tournament, and I promise that this is not the last you’ll hear of it.
    [00:00:36 – 00:14:20]
  • Technically Day 2, but first we talk about the rest of Day 1. The Adventures, now with bonus time travel! We test drove a ton of indy games (okay like twelve) and tell you all about them because that’s probably at least part of the reason you’re listening to this. The PAX 10, there is some awesome to be had here. Borderlands 2 disappoints us terribly in that we never get the chance to touch it, and this is but the first of many Borderlands-themed disappointments ahead.
    [00:14:28 – 01:05:15]
  • Having completely failed to calculate in the fact that we’d be out of our hotel room by Sunday morning, the remainder of the podcast comes to you LIVE from OUR HOME and about A WEEK LATER. This is the kind of cutting-edge hard-hitting procrastination you’ve come to expect from The Adventures of Jet Wolf & Ultrace. We finish up Day 2 and plunge headlong into Day 3, where we demo/watched as many games as our bleary eyes could handle. Even all these days later, some of them have us ridiculously excited.
    [01:05:22 – 01:54:14]
  • The Final Round, in keeping with our theme, is about PAX. We both get kinda nitpicky, then spend the rest of the time talking about PopCap’s Wallnut hat. Because seriously guys, this Wallnut Hat. Oh my god.
    [01:54:22 – 02:01:26]
Play

Runtime: 2:01:41
Direct download: advjwu13.mp3

Episode 12: And Michael Phelps Would Win That, Too

Episode 12: And Michael Phelps Would Win That, Too

We emerge from our post-Olympic haze and try to make sense of a world without rings and medals and triumphant fanfare. Jet Wolf may never love again.

  • Around here it was the 2012 London Olympics all day every day, so we’ve got to deal with those feels first. We discuss our general thoughts about the games, specific hates about NBC, the American culture clash, and just what was up with those Opening Ceremonies anyway?
    [00:00:36 – 00:33:24]
  • Other games are also happening! It’s another look at What We’re Playing. Nikki enthuses about Assassin’s Creed 2 and Defense Grid while Mike talks up Beat Hazard and Scott Pilgrim. Then there’s that Skyrim disdain that takes us both by surprise. Also, PAX is coming! Holy crap!
    [00:33:32 – 01:04:18]
  • Is the Green Goblin Spidey’s archvillain?, Nikki wonders aloud. This leads us on a discussion about what makes a great archvillain and if it’s possible to have one years after the hero’s introduction.
    [01:04:26 – 01:17:05]
  • The Final Round, in which we wind up talking about Rock Band and Harmonix for six minutes.
    [01:17:13 – 01:25:33]
Play

Runtime: 1:25:49
Direct download: advjwu12.mp3

Episode 11: The Great Batsby & The Spectacular Spider-Bartlet

Episode 11: The Great Batsby & The Spectacular Spider-Bartlet

It’s a comic booky-y kind of summer, and our excited little butts go into excited little seats for two movies that leave us feeling not quite as excited as we started. It’s Jet Wolf & Ultrace versus The Amazing Spider-Man and The Dark Knight Rises, with some bonus swearing at NBC!

  • We first tackle The Amazing Spider-Man, wrestling it to the ground and beating it with rocks. Mike is a professional adult and was nearly brought to tears, this movie upset him so. He works through some issues (by which I mean he doesn’t really work through anything at all) and is only too happy to tell you exactly why he hates everything about this movie. Except for Gwen Stacy. And Uncle Ben. And Aunt May. Okay, so it’s sort of only Spider-Man we hate, but you have to admit that’s a bit of a problem for a film called Spider-Man. [Beware Spoilers]
    [00:00:40 – 00:33:14]
  • The Dark Knight Rises is also put against the post and offered a final cigarette. Two hours and forty minutes? Really, Christopher Nolan? Really? [Beware Spoilers]
    [00:33:22 – 00:57:55]
  • It’s Olympic time, and Nikki could not possibly be more excited. Unless, of course, the property went into the hands of absolutely anybody not NBC. We talk about the ridiculous idea that in 2012 we still can’t see things live, and old wounds are poked with dirty sticks. Seriously, just fuck everything about Jerry Seinfeld.
    [00:58:02 – 01:09:57]
  • The Final Round, where we manage to have the most difficult question ever alongside the easiest.
    [01:10:03 – 01:14:50]
Play

Runtime: 1:15:06
Direct download: advjwu11.mp3

Episode 10: We Don’t Have Much to Say (A 90 Minute Podcast)

Episode 10: We Don't Have Much to Say (A 90 Minute Podcast)

It’s our first Listener’s Choice show! All the topics were suggested by YOU, the Listener, so you’ve only yourselves to blame. This was done entirely in the spirit of audience participation and not at all because we have no idea what’s going on out there.

  • Once again Marvel is pissing us off, and despite claims of not going into it, Jet Wolf still somehow manages to not shut up. Turns out we both really hate Avengers vs. X-Men, but become oddly apathetic to the latest round of cancellations. We talk about characters and how to completely ignore them, how much Nikki loves Mike Carey, and even a bit about the speculator market which must still be out there ruining it for the rest of us.
    [00:00:38 – 00:37:18]
  • Sailor Moon is returning! How do we feel about that? Mostly just passingly curious, but then the conversation turns to the anime we used to love and enthusiasm heightens. Bubblegum Crisis? You’ll be surprised/horrified by what Mike would do to get the series on blu-ray.
    [00:37:26 – 00:56:30]
  • Someone wanted to know who our favourite classic wrestlers were, and Nikki answers but with no small amount of shame. We quickly move to something much more interesting: exactly how incredibly awesome was Macho Man Randy Savage? ANSWER: So incredibly fucking awesome. HE’S STILL GOT THIS.
    [00:56:37 – 01:15:34]
  • The Final Round, where we go off on a tangent about Disney shorts vs. Warner Brothers shorts, and Mike is reduced to tears. Always the mark of a successful segment.
    [01:15:41 – 01:32:00]
Play

Runtime: 1:32:16
Direct download: advjwu10.mp3

Episode 9: Sick Romans and Crusty Jugglers

Episode 9: Sick Romans and Crusty Jugglers

This week is all about meth and misogyny. Fun times, fun times.

  • It’s been a bad week to be into video games and comic books and have a uterus. We’ve had to deal with the new Tomb Raider game “Press X To Not Be Raped”, the staggering hate surrounding the Tropes vs. Women in Video Games project [link], and the laugh-or-you’ll-cry cover to Catwoman #0 [link]. Jet Wolf has thoughts and feelings and she and ladybits are going to tell you all about them.
  • In keeping with tradition, we finished Breaking Bad about a year behind everyone else. With the fifth and final season around the corner, we talk about our impressions of last year’s finale and what we hope to see at the close of this dark and fascinating series. Mostly though Ultrace just really hates Walt. [Warning: spoilers for seasons 1-4 of Breaking Bad.]
  • The Final Round, in which Jet Wolf makes Ultrace cry.
Play

Runtime: 1:12:01
Direct download: advjwu09.mp3

Episode 8: Kind of a Douchebag

Episode 8: Kind of a Douchebag

This is the week of Horrible People. Upon listening to this, congratulations, for you too become A Horrible Person. It’s like a gift with purchase.

  • What begins as a conversation about Cards Against Humanity turns into a venting session about 38 Studios, and finally the inflated entitlement of gamers that helped get us into this mess in the first place. But mostly what you should take away is that Curt Schilling is a very bad man.
  • Community has finished out its third season, however that triumph was quickly deflated by the news of Dan Harmon’s firing. But who are we really upset with? The answer may surprise you.
  • The Final Round brings easy answers but a pleasant little segue that ultimately involves midgets. So there’s that.
Play

Runtime: 0:57:09
Direct download: advjwu08.mp3